Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
