I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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