i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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