Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my sisters under your porch take her home
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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