Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
