She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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