At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
pray to the hookup gods
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
