hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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