The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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