It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
