I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
