He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
