I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
