Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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