Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
