I'm lost and stupid without you.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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