it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
