I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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