it hurts more in the daytime
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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