thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I touched a dick in church today
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
