that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
