White coat. Heels.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize