if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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