i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
