I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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