sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
