guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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