Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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