I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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