your thong is hanging out like whoa
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
