Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Randomize
