People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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