just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
