you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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