it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
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he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
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asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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