I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
