They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We just shotgunned beers for America
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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