I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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