Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize