508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
