zippers are such a cool invention
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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