we have pet lesbian snakes
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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