i think i have two assholes
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
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