I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
