Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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