I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize