Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
