he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
