ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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