so that wasnt chicken after all
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
