pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
