I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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