Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Come see our sink grown plant.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
