Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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