Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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