Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
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