He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
