Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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