Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
