If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
