So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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