Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
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just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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